I spent the night before lying in bed trying to come to terms with my failure. Perhaps it is diffcult to understand why but academics do matter a lot to me. It matters because it seems to be the only way to justify this existence of mine and to prove myself. To whom I am not sure. I only know of a need to prove myself.

I clutched my pillow against me as I cried. I held the blade against me and the pain reminds me that I am not good enough. And all the while, I was hoping to hear your voice.

Maybe he read my mind because while I was lying there, my cell phone rang and I heard his voice over the telephone line. And although the line went dead after a while, it was enough knowing that he was safe. That is how I fell asleep with tear tracks still on my cheeks and a smile upon my face.

breathe // dream

(index) (archive) (profile) (extras) (contact) (reviews) (lj) (bang-) (M) (steal--away) (% (image) (design) (diaryland)