I'm going out of my mind, staring at the four walls of the room, smoking too many cigarettes in the backyard to pass time and kill boredom. I'm paranoid and neurotic and mad at the world. I'm in isolation. I haven't spoken to anyone on the phone today, I haven't eaten anything so far, he didn't call me today (but he did text me), I haven't left the computer at all except to read three chapters of Lolita. I have no idea where is my mind - I think I left it wandering somewhere in archives of memories.

I know that the fun, reasonable, happy girl is hidden somewhere inside of me but fuck, I can't seem to find her right now.

And honestly, I don't fucking care.

I hate being needy.

breathe // dream

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